1. Is the space simple, clean, and beautiful?
2. Is it peaceful and serene or busy and stimulating?
3. Does your child enjoy being in her room during the normal activities of the day?
4. Are items (books, toys, clothing) thoughtfully organized for the child?
5. Can your child complete age appropriate tasks independently? Bedroom tasks might include: dressing, putting away clothes, making bed, putting dirty clothes in a laundry hamper?
6. Can your child access age appropriate activities independently?

These questions will shed light on whether her bedroom really feels like her bedroom. The first step to your child feeling comfortable in the space is developing a sense of ownership and control. Your little one loves to have control. Give it to her in the appropriate times and you will battle less. Guaranteed!

Making the bedroom her bedroom:

• Encourage your child’s comfort and independence in her room during the daytime.
• Provide easy access to the essentials (bed, clothes, books, toys)
• Invite her participation in creating a desirable space.
• Play music and have a dance party in there.
• Create happy memories in the bedroom (fun and relaxing).

Let’s look at the specifics:

Bed

Can your child get in and out of bed independently? Consider placing a small futon or mattress on the floor, even for a baby. It will be just the right height for your child to get in and out of independently when she is old enough to move around. This is true for all furniture, try to offer something child-size. Once you have made the bedroom safe, it is more interesting to move about it freely rather than be confined to a crib. (Note: Our babies slept in co-sleepers and then mattresses next to our bed until the early stages of potty-training were complete, then we moved the mattress into their room. It was a smooth and natural transition.)

Walls

Hang a mirror at eye level for your toddling child or just above the mattress for your infant’s pleasure. Children love to look at themselves and this is age-appropriate and healthy! They are able to learn so many things, including simply being “ready” to go (clean face, combed hair). If your toddler or older child can check her own face and hair, it removes you from a possible battle. Just encourage her to look carefully in the mirror to see if she is ready to go. Another step toward independence.

Do you have beautiful art hanging in your child’s room? Take advantage of the young child’s extreme sensitivity and expose her to beautiful art (focus on art with other children, animals, or nature and avoid popular media images). Hang these at eye-level, to help strengthen her sense of belonging and inclusion.

What else can you do to create a comfortable sleeping environment for your child?

Your key to success begins with creating regular bedtimes and an enjoyable relaxing routine. Find some ideas below from the series Quiet Night, Happy Night:

• The Never Ending Good Night
• Is Goodnight Still Taking all Night?
• Lowering the Child’s Bedroom
• Sleeping Around
• Is Separation Anxiety Causing Unrest?
• Calm Yourself to Calm Your Kids
• Bedtime Breathing
• Nighttime Fears
• Unwind for Bedtime
• Quiet Night, Happy Night

Now consider from your child’s perspective, why that time of day is hard. Is your child tired? Hungry? Over-stimulated? Missing connection with mom and dad? Or simply wanting to participate and contribute to the efforts during this busy time?

Now imagine if I told you that I know of one way (okay, a few but I’ll stick to this one for today) to make this time soooo much easier. In fact, of all of the baby items we were given and the few that we bought, this is the one that stands above all of the others. It’s the one thing that everyone comments on when they come to our house. It’s the one thing all kids clamor to. My kids use it every single day.

It’s the Learning Tower.

I mentioned this nifty apparatus in the baby-proofing series (or child-friendly, as I prefer to call baby-proofing).

You’ll get the most use out of the Learning Tower in the kitchen. Since this natural gathering place is where you likely spend a lot of time, your kids always want to be there too.

When you create an easy way for your child to be safe and engaged in the kitchen, the witching hour quickly smoothes itself out.

The Learning Tower safely elevates your child to the height of the kitchen counter. Whether your child is helping you cook or chomping on some grapes while you are cooking, he will feel like part of the activity. And suddenly his struggles for attention will quiet.

Additionally, your child can wash dishes, assemble lunch, or get his own water. My kids gather there first thing in the morning as I prepare their breakfast. It’s a nice way to visit and be close, while also getting their input on breakfast choices and having them add their own berries, milk, or whatever. Plus, they love to help with the dishes and most recently both the 2 and 5 year old are eager to make and pack their lunches.

I’m more than happy to accept this help. They love participating, plus it gives them some sense of power, so that they are not fighting for it later.

I heard the call early on to make our kitchen more child-friendly. Missing the appropriate children’s activities, I was often holding a toddler while also trying to chop, cook, and maneuver hot pans. This didn’t work. Plus, my kids have always been eager to help, which is a trait that I like to encourage.

The many ways to prepare a kitchen to be more child-friendly varies greatly according to size, needs, age of children; so please just consider this list a launching point.

Tips to make your kitchen more child-friendly:

1. make a work-space for your child, with either a child-sized table or sturdy stool to safely use the counter space (see picture at bottom)
2. store silverware, plates, bowls, glasses, and napkins (at least a few sets) on a low shelf or drawer
3. store snacks and a small pitcher with water on a low shelf in the refrigerator
4. store a few other activities (art, play dough, etc) in the kitchen so the child can be nearby even when not interested in cooking
5. provide cutting board and child-friendly knife to be used under supervision

Understanding your child’s zing will help you to create the most inviting, purposeful kitchen space.  Your child’s participation in the kitchen is an important step toward shaping his interest in contributing to the household in a meaningful and productive way. As you are considering how to improve your kitchen space, remember, the best way to encourage your child is to help him to feel successful. Big mishaps or stern correction might discourage the child from trying these activities in the future.

Below is a list of some activities, depending on interest and ability, that will entice your child into the kitchen:

• age appropriate space for your child (bottom drawer full of non-breakables for the 14-month-old or small table for the 2.5-year-old)
• setting the table (outline the place setting on placemats so child can learn appropriate placement)
• helping to clear the table after a meal
• washing some fruits and vegetables
• small, simple chopping jobs
• washing a few dishes
• loading or unloading portions of the dishwasher
• measuring and mixing ingredients

How has your child asked to participate in the kitchen? What have your responses been to these requests?

Daughter comfortably washing dishes, while standing on the Learning Tower.

See tips for the other rooms in your home here:

• To “proof” or “ready” the house for baby?
• Kid-friendly bedroom
• Choosing Toys Wisely
• Toys, toys everywhere

Recently I have written about preparing the house for a child. This is a very broad topic, which I have divided into more specific areas of the house. This article will consider ways to organize all of those toys!

Please see the posts listed below for other areas (this will be expanding over the next few weeks):

• To “proof” or “ready” the house for baby?
• Kid-friendly bedroom

For better or worse, the separate playroom is becoming more and more common. While having this option helps move some clutter out of the regular living space, it does not eliminate the need to have various child-centered items in each room of your house. A playroom offers a specific area where the miscellaneous activities can be stored in an organized and inviting manner. Even if a separate room is not an option or preferred choice, the same thoughtfulness needs to be put in place for considering where and how to keep all of the toys. The more thoughtful you are around preparing the space, the more inviting it will be (i.e., child will actually play with toys) and will play more independently.

Tips for preparing the play space:

1. Instead of using a toy box, which quickly becomes unruly, keep toys neatly on shelves.
2. Place all toys within easy reach for your child.
3. Avoid clutter. With toys, less really is more! Children tend to focus on just a few activities for a stretch of time. Once they stop showing interest, switch the toy out with something else that has been packed away.
4. Consider your child’s strength and coordination when choosing the location of some toys. Some big spills can be avoided just by considering placement.
5. Have a variety of storage: open shelves, baskets, trays, etc. Use small baskets for toys with multiple pieces to keep them contained, ease the transfer, and encourage returning to the correct place.
6. When everything has a designated place, your child can easily maintain the order.
7. Consider appropriate flooring for messy areas (easel, play dough, etc.) and low tables for other activities.
8. Display beautiful things from nature (or items your child has found) on a tray or in a basket.

For help choosing the appropriate toys, read Choosing Toys Wisely.

Each time a child receives a gift, a meaningful transaction has occurred. Depending on the manner and frequency of these transactions, the meaningfulness can be diluted or lost. Be mindful of your own attitude around giving and what you are imparting to your kids.

Toys, if chosen appropriately, do have great inherent value to the development of children. While appropriateness changes with your child’s development, it is important to first consider that abstract thinking and the imagination that follows it is a developed ability. Young children use the first six years of life to gradually develop this sophisticated thinking. Therefore, toys that portray fantasy or something other than the concrete and rational can present obstacles for the young mind making sense of his world.

For children under three years old, look for toys that distinguish the real from the unreal and provide order for the world. Toys, such as a dollhouse or realistic models of animals, can be used to introduce categories and processes (rooms of a house, role playing in the house, animal sounds, animal behavior). They can also become more complicated and sophisticated, by adding aspects, such as classifying animals by habitat, species, # of legs, etc.

You can suggest these new ways of playing with the toys to your children by demonstration, but then move on and butt out! Your goal is to help make your child’s play more interesting  by suggesting ideas that he would lack the knowledge or skill to find on his own. Do not control your child’s play. Exploration is the key!

Tips for choosing toys:

1. Consider your child’s Zing!
2. Young children benefit from simple activities that you can create from household goods: scooping beans from one container to another, same with water, stacking objects, pouring water with small pitcher, exploring nature, etc.
3. Choose activities that encourage participation, rather than something that performs for your child.
4. An appreciation of beauty begins at a young age. Consider this when choosing toys!
5. Teach care and respect by allowing your child to have access to something fragile (not something sentimental). This provides an opportunity to teach gentle handling (pouring with two hands, carrying with two hands, one finger touch, etc) and enables them to explore, somewhere other than the store.
6. Whenever possible opt for natural materials, such as wood, over plastic.

As a parent, I understand the difficulties that arise in limiting children’s toys when gifts are given. There are various options for this, depending on you, the gift giver, and your comfort level. You can put inappropriate gifts in storage, give them away, or bring them to a grandparents house. You can also give family members specific children’s catalogs that you  prefer.  I highly recommend the Michael Olaf catalogs, because they offer beautiful, purposeful activities and briefly describe the children’s development at each stage.  Great for grandparents!

Below are a few of  my other favorite catalogs that offer a unique selection of open-ended activities for children, encouraging discovery and growth of imagination.

• For Small Hands
• Hearth Song
• Magic Cabin
• Insect Lore

For more information of storing and organizing the toys, read Toys, toys everywhere!

First, spend some time sitting in your child’s room and looking at it through the child’s perspective. Apply these general questions to the bedroom:

1. Is the space simple, clean, and beautiful?
2. Are items (books, toys, clothing) thoughtfully organized for the child?
3. Can your child complete age appropriate tasks independently? Bedroom tasks might include: dressing, putting away clothes, making bed, putting dirty clothes in a laundry hamper?
4. Can your child access age appropriate activities independently?

Let’s look at the specifics:

Bed

Can your child get in and out of bed independently? Consider placing a small futon or mattress on the floor, even for a baby. It will be just the right height for your child to get in and out of independently when she is old enough to move around. This is true for all furniture, try to offer something child-size. Once you have made the bedroom safe, it is more interesting to move about it freely rather than be confined to a crib. Note: Our babies slept in co-sleepers and then mattresses next to our bed until the early stages of potty-training were complete, then we moved the mattress into their room. It was a smooth and natural transition.

Clothing

Are her clothes stored in a way so that she can access them? Young children do not hang clothes well on hangers. Drawers or cubbies work best. Do the drawers glide open and shut easily so that she can be independent with this? Is the dresser stable and secure on the wall? Place the clothes that she will use most often or can choose independently toward the bottom (in easy reach). If your child is able to see her clothes, she can begin to pick out her own outfits. Usually this starts by giving the young child a choice between two pairs of shorts, two pairs of underwear, two different shirts, etc.  Encourage this! It’s a small, simple step to allow her to participate in a meaningful way. Don’t worry about color coordination and style. Children often have their own clear sense about this.

Consider creating a dressing corner, as described by Lisa Nolan at Confessions of a Montessori Mom.

Walls

Hang a mirror at eye level for your toddling child or just above the mattress for your infant’s pleasure. Children love to look at themselves and this is age-appropriate and healthy! They are able to learn so many things, including simply being “ready” to go (clean face, combed hair). If your toddler or older child can check her own face and hair, it removes you from a possible battle. Just encourage her to look carefully in the mirror to see if she is ready to go. Another step toward independence.

Do you have beautiful art hanging in your child’s room? Take advantage of the young child’s extreme sensitivity and expose her to beautiful art (focus on art with other children, animals, or nature and avoid popular media images). Hang these at eye-level, to help strengthen her sense of belonging and inclusion.

Toys

I have many thoughts about toys, but will keep it limited for the purposes of this broader article.

Can your child reach all of his toys easily and safely? Are the toys beautiful, purposeful, and engaging or interactive? Avoid toys that perform while your child watches. You want to encourage him to be actively engaged, not a passive observer waiting to be entertained.

Look for more thoughts on toys in these related posts:

• Toys, toys everywhere!
• Choosing Toys Wisely

What other things have you done to prepare your child’s bedroom?

Parents do need to take the necessary precautions to make the home safer, such as: covering electrical outlets, securing wires, locking some cabinets, etc., but we also need to create an environment where the growing child can have a strong sense of belonging.  Gates, locks, restrictive devices, and the endless “no!”  don’t do that.

Parents can be so concerned about safety that they keep their young children confined in restrictive devices, which cause other problems when overused (underdeveloped muscular coordination, strength, and the processing and integration of the senses). By preparing the environment in a meticulous way to be safe and appropriate, your child can explore the environment and their emerging independence in a safe and productive way.

In full disclosure, I am not only a Montessori teacher, but also a Montessori enthusiast. Dr. Maria Montessori was a genius and her theories on children absolutely brilliant! One of the cornerstones to Montessori is the “prepared environment”.  Regarding this she said:

The first aim of the prepared environment is, as far as it is possible, to render the growing child independent of the adult.The environment must be rich in motives which lend interest to activity and invite the child to conduct his own experiences.

It’s important to organize your home so that the child can be independent and successful, always keeping health and safety in mind. It is also important for the space to be beautiful and orderly from your child’s perspective. Is there child-size furniture in the rooms? Is there artwork displayed at the toddling or walking child’s eye level? Are books within reach?

Get down to your child’s height and walk (or crawl) through your house. How do things look? Is it an inviting environment? Considering your child’s current zing, are there ample opportunities for exploration and practice. Is the house cluttered with toys that go mostly unused?

I offer specific suggestions for how to make your house (room by room) more child friendly, beginning with the bedroom and later how to choose and organize toys for purposeful engagement. If you are interested in reading more about preparing your home environment and appropriate toy choices for your little ones, then go ahead and subscribe by RSS feed or e-mail to receive those updates as soon as they are published.

Related posts:

• Kid-friendly bedroom
• Toys, toys everywhere!
• Choosing Toys Wisely
• Guide to a child-friendly kitchen