“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.” ~unknown
Fostering the grace of gratitude comes primarily from thoughtful, mindful parenting.
Mindful parenting is like building a house. You always keep the end product in mind. If you would like your children to be generous, live each day this way. If you would like your children to be thoughtful and reflective, live each day this way.
Live it out loud!
Same goes for feeling thankful. Incorporate gratitude into your everyday. Merely expressing thanks on Thanksgiving will not result in your child expressing feelings of gratitude throughout the year.
It is hard to be mindful of so many different aspects of parenting. Agreed. I’ll share a tip that has worked for my family.
Creating some structure for the routine has helped. Family rituals and traditions are everlasting for a reason. They serve a real purpose and usually make people feel good.
Some families express thanks before meals. For others, family meetings are a wonderful way to begin this tradition. Weekly family meetings offer a specific time when family members can express gratitude (and air grievances).
Our family has a meeting every Sunday evening after dinner. We discuss big things that have occurred or might be coming up. We air grievances in a respectful manner. We also express thanks in a structured way. And . . . our kids get to eat dessert, which has made them terrifically fond of family meetings.
Throughout the years, my husband and I have bucked tradition. It’s not bucking for bucking’s sake. It’s because many customary traditions (or expectations) simply do not make sense to us. They don’t resonate. Recently we’ve begun creating our own meaningful rituals. You’ll hear more about these as they occur throughout the year.
If you haven’t created these rituals or practices into your family’s routine, begin tonight. Make a pact to express (out loud) thanks for something every day between now and Thanksgiving. Maybe your family will develop a new habit.
The Obama family has a similiar practice. Every night they share a “rose” and “thorn” from the day.
Do you have family rituals that you enjoy? Have they been passed along through the generations, or are you charting your own course? Please share.
I love this post. I am working with a family who has a difficult time getting their daughter to express things about her day, (she is very private, even at a young age). We are working on getting some family rituals in place so that they all do this together, (the focus is then not just on the daughter sharing information at the parent’s request, but a more “built in” , routine, and hopefully fun event). Combining w/ dessert is in my opinion, an excellent “add on” that I had not considered.
I did not grow up with many family traditions that occured in any sort of “routine” way, )maybe why I crave this so much now!) We did have a period where we ate family dinners together, and I have good memories of those times. In my own family I would like to create a “music night” and a games or movies night. Kids thrive on these “rituals” even though they may not always verbalize this. I would love to also, eventually, incorporate a family meeting. (w/ dessert!)