The subject of toys is thick with cultural and emotional nuances. There is a modern day approach to toys that is in stark contrast with previous generations, whose primary wish for their children was that they develop character and discipline. Today, the wish for parents is that their children be happy. In constant pursuit of this wish, parents indulge their children, often subconsciously. This has unintended consequences, including not actually achieving the desired wish. Happiness does not come from accumulation of toys!
Each time a child receives a gift, a meaningful transaction has occurred. Depending on the manner and frequency of these transactions, the meaningfulness can be diluted or lost. Be mindful of your own attitude around giving and what you are imparting to your kids.
Toys, if chosen appropriately, do have great inherent value to the development of children. While appropriateness changes with your child’s development, it is important to first consider that abstract thinking and the imagination that follows it is a developed ability. Young children use the first six years of life to gradually develop this sophisticated thinking. Therefore, toys that portray fantasy or something other than the concrete and rational can present obstacles for the young mind making sense of his world.
For children under three years old, look for toys that distinguish the real from the unreal and provide order for the world. Toys, such as a dollhouse or realistic models of animals, can be used to introduce categories and processes (rooms of a house, role playing in the house, animal sounds, animal behavior). They can also become more complicated and sophisticated, by adding aspects, such as classifying animals by habitat, species, # of legs, etc.
You can suggest these new ways of playing with the toys to your children by demonstration, but then move on and butt out! Your goal is to help make your child’s play more interesting by suggesting ideas that he would lack the knowledge or skill to find on his own. Do not control your child’s play. Exploration is the key!
Tips for choosing toys:
- Consider your child’s Zing!
- Young children benefit from simple activities that you can create from household goods: scooping beans from one container to another, same with water, stacking objects, pouring water with small pitcher, exploring nature, etc.
- Choose activities that encourage participation, rather than something that performs for your child.
- An appreciation of beauty begins at a young age. Consider this when choosing toys!
- Teach care and respect by allowing your child to have access to something fragile (not something sentimental). This provides an opportunity to teach gentle handling (pouring with two hands, carrying with two hands, one finger touch, etc) and enables them to explore, somewhere other than the store.
- Whenever possible opt for natural materials, such as wood, over plastic.
As a parent, I understand the difficulties that arise in limiting children’s toys when gifts are given. There are various options for this, depending on you, the gift giver, and your comfort level. You can put inappropriate gifts in storage, give them away, or bring them to a grandparents house. You can also give family members specific children’s catalogs that you prefer. I highly recommend the Michael Olaf catalogs, because they offer beautiful, purposeful activities and briefly describe the children’s development at each stage. Great for grandparents!
Below are a few of my other favorite catalogs that offer a unique selection of open-ended activities for children, encouraging discovery and growth of imagination.
For more information of storing and organizing the toys, read Toys, toys everywhere!
