I talk about understanding your child’s perspective a lot on this site. It does make the most significant positive impact on your parenting, after all.
Observation is the first step toward understanding your child’s perspective (whether it’s emotional, intellectual, or visual). It is also the key to effectively bring parenting principles to life. So, when you feel challenged by how best to apply parenting principles, return to the keen observation of your child. Let this be your guide.
Tips to gather useful observations:
- Observing is not simply watching. To observe is to think like a scientist, without any preconceived ideas.
- Each time you observe your child, try to forget about preconceived notions or previous experiences and just focus on what is happening right now.
- Resist interfering with anything that your child is doing. The goal with observing is to learn from what your child is doing, not to correct, participate, or distract.
- Observe, think, act. Is what you are going to do really going to help your child develop, learn or grow?
For example, when your two-year-old is getting dressed in the morning, notice what he can do for himself. Enable his participation as much as possible. Continue this enabling in other activities throughout the day. Young children love to help and participate. You might be surprised to discover how much they can do at very early ages when they are supported and encouraged in the process.
This practice ensures that your actions result in collaboration with your child for his benefit, rather than undermining his efforts toward self-formation.
This does gets easier with regular practice. . . and a lot of observation.
i have to say it does get better and easier within time. observing made a huge difference in my parenting style. i always remember this when i don’t observe and things become chaotic and fall apart.
tali
It’s amazing how difficult this can actually be. Especially when I see my daughter struggling with something. I know that in any second she’s going get frustrated, possibly throw the item she is wrestling with, and have a complete meltdown. So, what do I do, I fix it, whatever it is, so that she won’t get frustrated. This does not help her in the long run. I need to avoid participating, and just watch.