Here’s a story about a typical trouble maker. From his earliest days in elementary school, Jonathon Mooney spent most of his time kicked out of the classroom. His teachers sent him to the hall because he was just too disruptive to the class. He was eventually labeled dyslexic and later ADD. He dropped out of school for a bit in sixth grade. He did not learn to read until he was 12 years old.
Sounds like a potential life of struggles. Maybe even life long dependence on his parents.
Turns out, this boy is now an adult. Mooney is successful and happy. He lives independent of his parents. He went to Brown University and was a Rhodes Scholarship finalist. He founded his own non-profit to help students with learning disabilities.
Does this sound like the typical trouble maker (I hope you hear the cynicism in my voice)? Hindsight is 20/20. Like most kids who struggle, there is an underlying issue behind the disruptive behavior. Unfortunately, reprimanding and shaming the behavior does not solve the underlying issue.
In a recent lecture, Mooney, gave two strong suggestions to parents:
- Shift your perspective when questioning if your child smart. Instead, consider how he is smart. Focus less on remedial teachings and more on channeling the struggles into something positive.
- Be an advocate for your child in school.
Think of all of the kids who are sent “away” because they are too difficult to manage. It is challenging to be around their struggles. They are just too different to fit into something so structured and standard.
Each child is brilliant in his own unique way. Remember this when you are frustrated with your child’s behavior. Instead, give him opportunities to explore his brilliance, rather than punishing his “weakness”. Celebrate it. Teach your child how to channel his struggles in a positive direction.
Help create positive channeling ideas!
Mooney suggests if a child is particularly verbal but not so hot with writing skills, sign him up for debate club. What a great idea! Do you have other ideas? Please leave your comment below.
i think Mooney’s second suggestion is very good. i need to remember that.
one more thing i can add is this link to a video that shows a class room of kids that can choose to stand or sit. hopefully this becomes more standard.
tali
I think that in the current state of school too many parents side with the child over the student. There are exceptions to every rule or group, but kids need to learn boundaries so other kids can learn.
At the dinner table last night I asked my daughter the same question I ask her every night. How was school and did anything exciting go on? She related a story about a kid in her class that brought a pencil and notebook to the music class. It was a total distraction for everyone. The teacher finally took it away and the kid walked up to the desk and took it back. My daughter then told some other stories about this kid acting bad. My daughter thought the kid had to go to the principal at some point later in the day.
I am willing to bet that the parents got called, but the kid won’t get in trouble at home. I would kill my daughter if she disrupted class that much.
Kids have to be put in their place and the earlier the better. If a kid has a learning disability then get the kid into spec. ed as soon as possible so the kid can get better and get into a normal class asap.
Rarely does my throat restrict when I begin reading an article but you hit home in your ‘the stupid troublemaker article. In hindsight blaming and shaming the child does not solve the reason why they struggle in school. I knew something was drastically wrong when my child was still in elementary school and took him for countless examinations only to be told he was a perfectly normal child, so why was he struggling in school?! because our province only does Acievement testing periodically it wasn’t until grade six that a teacher acknowledged he was ‘attention deficited’and the phycho-educational IQ tests ‘proved’ he had a memory problem but also noted extremely low grade level literacy skills which was aparently a result of ‘his memory precondition problem’. As parents we had no choice but to mediate and using family resources went outside of the public school system for an achievement CAT test and grammar decoding writing lessons that covered each literacy level until he was back up to grade achieved in public school. We had to request the school remove their ‘code 54 learning disabled’ as he had received Honour Student by grade. All I remember through those years he felt anxiety and frustration and was overwhelmed from a lack of foundation languge instruction after grade three was how many things and decisions we were doing wrong because of the lacks and gaps and misinformation we had to go by from the system. It still hurts to this day, apparently since your article choked me up. Thanks for everything you do from the child’s perspective.