I was certain the kids were well on their way to dreamland when BG called me into the bedroom.
I replied like I always do when there are bedtime theatrical performances, “Oh no, is there blood? Are you okay?” [A fairly recent bedtime rule is that after we say goodnight, they need to help themselves to the bathroom or to another drink of water. They can call for us if there is blood, or some other emergency.]
BG says, “Mom, how do you know how old a baby is when it is born?”
Me: “That’s a good question. Let’s talk about it in the morning.”
BG: “Please, please tell me. I really want to know.”
Okay, I’ll answer this seemingly simple and thoughtful question.
Me: “Even though the baby grows for awhile inside the mom’s belly, it is considered 0 when it is born. Then it becomes a few minutes old, a few hours old, eventually days and weeks and years.”
BG: “But, I mean, how do they know when it is ready to come out?”
Me: “Oh, it all has to do with the last time the mom had her period. Then it is about 40 weeks after that until the baby comes out.”
BG: “But can the mom decide when to have a baby?”
Me: “Sure.”
BG: “How?”
Me: “Well, once she decides then she can snuggle with daddy in a special way.”
BG: “What’s the special way?”
Me: “BG, I would really love to talk with you about this more, but this isn’t the time. Let’s talk in the morning.”
BG: “Please, just tell me quickly.”
I didn’t need much convincing. I knew this was important and not sure why it had to happen at that moment, but I also knew such a perfectly natural opportunity might not come around for awhile. I want to maintain the open environment that we have already established, where my kids know their questions are always welcomed and valued. I jumped on it!
Sex or Snuggle
Me: “Well, this special snuggle is called sex. It’s when the dad puts his penis into the mom’s vagina.”
BG: “To make it big enough for the baby to come out?”
Me: “No. To squirt something called sperm. If the sperm touches the egg that is inside of the mom, then it can grow into a baby, instead of just being an egg.”
BG: “Whoa!! Does it hurt?”
Me: “No. It’s nice.”
BG: “… ‘night Mommy.”
Me: “Goodnight love.”
5 Tips for Talking about Sex with Young Kids:
- Start early.
- Answer the question being asked. No more. No less.
- Welcome comments and questions with patience.
- Keep it simple and honest.
- Create an open environment in your family and home.
Hmm. Genie now officially out of the bottle. Can’t wait for the follow-up questions
I personally don’t agree with this. I think that it should be every parents decision to let their child here this or not. I don’t want my children learning this in school. I would appreciate the opportunity to teach this to my children myself and not in school. If parents do want their kids to here this in school then that’s ok but it shouldn’t be mandatory for all. Thank You
Oh absolutely! This is definitely a discussion to be had with parents and not in the classroom. I was relaying a conversation that I had with my own daughter in our home. The conversation I’ve had with my students is much shorter. It goes like this: “That’s a great question. Ask your parent about that when you get home.”