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	<title>Child Perspective</title>
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	<link>http://www.childperspective.com</link>
	<description>Real Parenting Solutions</description>
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		<title>Should We Talk to Kids About Skin Color?</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/mindful-parenting/should-we-talk-to-kids-about-skin-color/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/mindful-parenting/should-we-talk-to-kids-about-skin-color/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Jan 2011 14:27:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[character development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mindful parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jr]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[MLK Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NurtureShock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[race]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[racism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rosa Parks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teaching kids about Martin Luther King]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.childperspective.com/?p=1749</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This article is being republished in honor of Martin Luther King Day. Parents frequently tip-toe around the sensitive topic of race. Does highlighting skin color differences create a further sense of otherness or division among the races? Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman sought answers to this question for their provocative book, NurtureShock. Through their research [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>This article is being republished in honor of Martin Luther King Day</em>.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1808" title="diversity" src="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/aiesec_nomadlife_1261276_l-300x225.jpg" alt="diversity" width="300" height="225" /></p>
<p>Parents frequently tip-toe around the sensitive topic of race.</p>
<p>Does highlighting skin color differences create a further sense of otherness or division among the races? Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman sought answers to this question for their provocative book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/NurtureShock-New-Thinking-About-Children/dp/0446504122/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1263410062&amp;sr=1-1" target="_blank">NurtureShock</a>.</p>
<p>Through their research the authors noted that many parents (especially caucasian parents) were uncomfortable talking about a person&#8217;s skin color for fear of teaching a racial construct.</p>
<p>Yet, to the researcher&#8217;s surprise, it was exactly this silence that was allowing already formed constructs to persist. The constructs were already there from the earliest ages!</p>
<p>Children categorize (i.e., make constructs) to make sense of this complex world, beginning when they are just babies.</p>
<p>Babies notice differences and categorize accordingly, but they don&#8217;t have preferences yet. These preferences begin as young as 3 years old. But, at no point are children color-blind toward race, like many adults hope.</p>
<p>Kid&#8217;s are developmentally prone to in-group preferences or favoritism. Differences in skin and hair color are like differences in shirt colors &#8211; they are visible to the eye without needing to be labeled.</p>
<p>It would seem that the timeframe parents think is too soon to begin discussing skin color with their children (or important <em>not</em> to discuss race) is the same timeframe that these young minds are forming their first conclusions about race.</p>
<p>Many parents quietly and subtly help their children feel comfortable and connected in this diverse world, by simply exposing them to diversity and assuming that this diversity becomes the accepted norm. That was the premise I was operating under prior to reading this book.</p>
<p>To my surprise, Bronson and Merryman conclude that it is critical to speak with children about racial differences in order to ensure less divisive attitudes. Simply exposing your children in meaningful and tangible ways to multi-racial people is not enough. There needs to be conversation!</p>
<p>A conversation with my daughter started after school yesterday when she began telling me the story of Rosa Parks refusing to sit in the back of the bus. She told the story with dramatic intonation and keen detail, just as her teacher would. Yet, when I asked her why Rosa Parks had to sit in the back of the bus, she shrugged.</p>
<p>I began explaining (so that a 5 year old might understand) that Rosa Parks had dark-colored skin.We looked at our own skin and talked about some friends with darker skin. I explained how people with light-colored skin used to be very mean to dark-skinned people. Before I could get very far, my daughter chimed right back in agreeing how long ago black people were not allowed to share the same bathrooms or drinking fountains with white people.</p>
<p>As much as I wanted to go into the ugly history here, I refrained. Little bits of information are easier to consume than long diatribes. Especially after an exhausting day of kindergarten.</p>
<p>Below are two children&#8217;s books that might help the conversation along:</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shades-People-Shelley-Rotner/dp/0823421910/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1263409770&amp;sr=1-1" target="_blank">Shades of People</a> (2-6)</li>
<li><a href="http://www.amazon.com/One-World-Day-Barbara-Kerley/dp/1426304609/ref=pd_sim_b_1" target="_blank">One World, One Day</a> (ages 4-8)</li>
</ul>
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		<title>4 Steps to Raising Thankful Children</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/teaching-spirit-of-thankfulness/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/teaching-spirit-of-thankfulness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Nov 2010 01:06:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[character development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gratitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manners]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive parenting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.childperspective.com/?p=2601</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As Thanksgiving approaches, the chaos of the winter holidays can overshadow its essence. The spirit of thankfulness is a complex one for young kids to grasp, but by by modeling generosity all year long and talking about the subject, your child will begin to absorb and emulate this emotion. It&#8217;s a great start to discuss [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/1123793_29035032.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2607" title="Thanksgiving" src="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/1123793_29035032-300x207.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="207" /></a></p>
<p>As Thanksgiving approaches, the chaos of the winter holidays can overshadow its essence. The spirit of thankfulness is a complex one for young kids to grasp, but by by modeling generosity all year long and talking about the subject, your child will begin to absorb and emulate this emotion. It&#8217;s a great start to discuss thankfulness during this time of year, but its more powerful to incorporate it into the everyday all year long.</p>
<p>And I&#8217;m not talking about the usual prompt, &#8220;What do you saaaay?&#8221; that we&#8217;ve all sung to our kids. Reminding kids to say thank you is simply a matter of politeness and doesn&#8217;t necessarily translate into a general attitude of gratitude.</p>
<h3>So, how do we raise thankful children?</h3>
<ol>
<li><strong>Make gratitude a habit</strong>. Spend time each day appreciating what you have (love, shelter, food, family, friends, courage). You might create a daily ritual or tradition to help you remember to be grateful and establish family traditions for thinking about what we are thankful for and sharing it with others. Maybe you have a thankful tree, journal, shoebox, tablecloth, calendar, or space on the refrigerator.</li>
<li><strong>Adopt an attitude of gratitude</strong>.  This means being thankful no matter what our situation in life. Thankfulness means that we are aware of both our blessings and disappointments but that we focus on the blessings.</li>
<li><strong>Express your thanks out loud</strong>.  Don&#8217;t be quietly thankful. Your children need to know you are thankful for them, for your home, for friends, mentors, and for the other good things in your life. Celebrate your thankfulness often and initiate conversations.</li>
<li><strong>Be generous or giving and express how it affects others</strong>. Talk about being on both sides: giving and receiving. There are many ways to give: donating blood, money, food, clothing, time, and/or energy. Share these experiences with your children. Many community service projects are appropriate for elementary aged children.</li>
</ol>
<p>By establishing any one of these practices, you can move the spirit of Thanksgiving from a one-day event to a foundational aspect of life.</p>
<p>For inspiration on crafts incorporating the theme of thankfulness, check out the projects on <a href="http://www.thecraftycrow.net/2010/11/easy-thanksgiving-crafts-for-kids.html" target="_blank">this fabulously artsy site</a>.</p>
<p>Related post:</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/have-a-thankful-kid-by-thursday/" target="_blank">Have a Thankful Kid by Thursday</a></li>
</ul>
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		<title>School Reform in the Limelight</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/education/waiting-for-superman/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/education/waiting-for-superman/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Nov 2010 13:10:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[education reform]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.childperspective.com/?p=2589</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Earlier this week I had the privilege of seeing Waiting for &#8220;Superman&#8221;, the highly acclaimed (and criticized) documentary about public education. Is Waiting for &#8220;Superman&#8221; anti-teacher? This moving documentary follows 5 young children as it explores the public school system. The stories are heart breaking, but that hasn&#8217;t prevented the film from coming under attack. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Earlier this week I had the privilege of seeing <a href="http://www.waitingforsuperman.com/trailer" target="_blank"><strong>Waiting for &#8220;Superman&#8221;</strong></a>, the highly acclaimed (and criticized) documentary about public education.</p>
<h3>Is <em>Waiting for &#8220;Superman&#8221;</em> anti-teacher?</h3>
<p>This moving documentary follows 5 young children as it explores the public school system. The stories are heart breaking, but that hasn&#8217;t prevented the film from coming under attack. Some of the arguments I&#8217;ve heard have merit. Others, such as the claims that it is anti-teacher, seem absurd. <em>Waiting for &#8220;Superman&#8221;</em> isn&#8217;t anti-teacher. It&#8217;s anti- bad teacher. Although the movie over-simplifies the issue, <em>Waiting for &#8220;Superman&#8221;</em> is stirring a much needed sense of urgency around our underperforming educational system.</p>
<p>I fear that those who are criticizing specific statistics and nuances of this documentary are dismissing its basic message and risk throwing the baby out with the bathwater.</p>
<p>The basic take away of the movie is that test scores are low because of bad teachers. The bad teachers are still employed because of teachers&#8217; unions. Unions don&#8217;t differentiate between a good teacher and a bad teacher. The argument is that test scores would be better if principals could fire bad teachers and hire excellent teachers, instead of the ridiculous lemon dance. The lemon dance is the common practice of schools trading their worst performing teachers at the end of the school year for the worst performing in another school. No one is fired. Just shuffled along.</p>
<p>Whatever path we take, I think everyone can agree that the public education system needs to be improved. If not overhauled all together.</p>
<h3>Some alarming statistics:</h3>
<ul>
<li>In America, a high school student drops out every 26 seconds.</li>
<li>More than 1 in 10 high schools are defined as <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21531704/" target="_blank">dropout factories</a>. (12% of U.S. public high schools produce nearly half of the nation&#8217;s dropouts and 58% of African-American dropouts.)</li>
<li>60% of inmates are high school dropouts.</li>
<li>It&#8217;s cheaper to send a child to private school for 12 years than pay for 4 years in jail.</li>
<li>Public education costs about $9,000/year per student.</li>
<li>Only 1 in 5 charter schools are successful.</li>
<li>SEED ( a successful charter school featured in the film) spends $35,000/year per student.</li>
<li>50% of the current teaching core is eligible for retirement over the next 10 years. By 2014, the U.S. Department of Education projects that our nation&#8217;s schools will need to hire as many as 1 million new teachers.</li>
</ul>
<h3>Changing the teaching profession</h3>
<p>Hopefully it goes without saying that improving the educational system begins by improving the education. This begins by improving the teachers. Right now an alarming number of adults go into the profession because &#8220;it is a part time job where you get the summers off&#8221;. However, I don&#8217;t know of a single teacher who works less than 40 hours every week. In fact, many teachers don&#8217;t even have the summer off. During summer &#8220;vacation&#8221; teachers seek professional development, enhance their classrooms, or work a second job to pay the bills.</p>
<p>It seems that adding more value to this profession is a critical shift to improve the system. Top performing countries recruit teachers from the top third of college graduates. It&#8217;s no surprise that in these same countries, teaching is viewed as a prestigious and well-respected profession.</p>
<h3>Improving teaching in the US must begin by:</h3>
<ol>
<li>adding more value and prestige to the teaching profession by talking about teaching, and teachers, in a different way.</li>
<li>better screening for teachers.</li>
<li>better support.</li>
<li>higher salaries.</li>
<li>better training.</li>
<li>reduce the appalling rates of child poverty</li>
</ol>
<p><strong>There are many really good reads about this documentary and our educational system. Here are a few:</strong></p>
<p><em><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lesley-chilcott/does-teaching-have-a-bran_b_779682.html" target="_blank">Does Teaching Have a Branding Problem?</a>, <span style="font-style: normal;">by Lesley Chilcott</span></em></p>
<p><em><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/07/magazine/07Teachers-t.html" target="_blank">Building a Better Teacher</a><span style="font-style: normal;">, by Elizabeth Green</span></em></p>
<p><em><a href="http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2010/nov/11/myth-charter-schools/?page=1" target="_blank">The Myth of Charter Schools</a>, </em>by Diane Ravitch</p>
<p><em><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/10/08/AR2010100802741.html" target="_blank">Why aren&#8217;t our teachers the best and the brightest?</a></em>, by Paul Kihn and Matt Miller</p>
<p><em><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2010/10/08/ST2010100802672.html" target="_blank">How to fix our schools: A manifesto</a>,</em> by Joel Klein, Michelle Rhee and other education leaders</p>
<p><strong>Sidenote</strong>:</p>
<p>I can&#8217;t help but mention that this preview was sponsored by the US Chamber of Commerce. The movie was shown on Monday at 3pm, which obviously hinders most parents, teachers, or principals from attending. In attendance were many elected officials, including the city council and school board members, the superintendent and other DPS administrative staff, and businessmen and women. There was a lively conversation afterward that would have been better balanced had parents, teachers, and principals been in attendance.</p>
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		<title>where did that personality come from?</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/temperament-traits/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/temperament-traits/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:13:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[character development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[developmental stages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive parenting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.childperspective.com/?p=2582</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Try and try as you may, it&#8217;s a futile attempt to try to change your kids. Better to teach them how to use their traits for the better. Children have a set of in-born traits that organize the children&#8217;s approach to the world. It&#8217;s their factory installed wiring that remain pretty consistent from birth. When [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div>
<p>Try and try as you may, it&#8217;s a futile attempt to try to change your kids. Better to teach them how to use their traits for the better.</p>
<p>Children have a set of in-born traits that organize the children&#8217;s approach to the world. It&#8217;s their factory installed wiring that remain pretty consistent from birth.</p>
<p>When you look at all of these traits as a whole, you&#8217;ll discover your child&#8217;s temperament. While we cannot change temperament, we can affect how our children express or use their traits. This becomes their personality.</p>
<h3>Traits vs. Personality</h3>
<p>How well their temperament fits with the environment and how well they are received by the people in the environment will determine how a child sees himself and others. Helping your child to positively manage his temperament is a huge gift!</p>
<p>There are innumerable ways to look at temperaments, preferences, learning styles and personalities. For the purposes of this course, I used the Nine Traits of Temperaments described by Dr. Thomas and Dr. Chess.</p>
<h3>Nine Traits of Temperaments</h3>
<p>They described these traits as characteristics in behavior that land on a spectrum somewhere between mild and intense. Every child has an aspect of all nine. You need to determine where your child is on the spectrum of each trait and then synthesize them to have a full picture.</p>
<p><strong>Warning</strong>: <span style="font-weight: normal; font-size: 13px;">As you read through these traits, remember that there is no right or wrong end of the spectrum. Every kind of temperament trait can be used in good ways if we learn how to use it effectively. By understanding our children&#8217;s traits, we can help them better understand themselves. This awareness improves learning, behavior, and happiness.</span></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Activity Level</strong> &#8211; Many parents define the activity level as the key difference between an easy or difficult child. A child who is very active must have an outlet for his energy. He can&#8217;t sit still or quiet for long. A child who is less active may take more time to finish things. He can sit still easily. The challenge may be in helping him get adequate exercise.</li>
<li><strong>Distractibility</strong> -  This is the degree to which a child focuses on a task that he is not very interested in. A more focused child can complete tasks more easily and learn more quickly. He often tunes out everything when working on an activity. An easily distracted child may have trouble finishing things and get easily sidetracked, but can multi-task well. High distractibility is seen as positive when it is easy to divert a child from an undesirable behavior but seen as negative when it prevents the child from finishing school work.</li>
<li><strong>Intensity or Strength of Expression</strong> &#8211; A child who is very expressive may yell or cry over seemingly small things. He may be good at talking you into things. Intense children are more likely to have their needs met and tend to be exhausting to live with. The less expressive child may be seen as an underachiever. He may be calmer and more cooperative.</li>
<li><strong>Regularity or Need for Physical Routine</strong> &#8211; A child who prefers more regular routines wants to go to bed and eat around the same times every day. He may get upset if the day doesn&#8217;t go as usual. A child on the other end of the spectrum likes variety in physical routines, enjoys doing things differently and may not notice small changes in the day.</li>
<li><strong>Sensory Threshold or Sensitivity to Senses</strong> &#8211; This spectrum has a child who is painfully sensitive to stimulation on one end and a child who seeks more sensory stimulation on the other. The child who seeks more stimulation will learn best by engaging all of his senses. He enjoys cuddling and snuggling. He may hit or bite when angry. A child who is painfully sensitive to the stimulation may resist hugging and snuggling, may fuss about clothing or food textures. Parents of these sensitive children often feel like they are walking on eggshells.</li>
<li><strong>Initial Reaction</strong> &#8211; A child who enjoys change moves into new situations with ease. He is described as friendly, social, and gregarious. He is also more likely to wander off in a store. He may become bored with the same things. A child who prefers the familiar becomes shy when meeting new people or in a new location, and therefore may be described as anti-social. He needs time to observe and warm-up from the edges. Slow-to-warm-up children tend to think before they act. They are less likely to act impulsively during adolescence.</li>
<li><strong>Adaptability (resilient and flexible)</strong> &#8211; How easily does your child adapt over time versus react initially? A more adaptable child can easily tolerate big changes and the day-to-day transitioning from one activity to the next. A slow-to-adapt child is less likely to rush into dangerous situations, and may be less influenced by peer pressure.</li>
<li><strong>Persistence or Tenacity</strong> &#8211; This refers to the length of time a child continues with an activity in the face of obstacles. A child who is more persistent or tenacious will stick with something until it is done. The tunnel vision can be about food, a material item such as a toy, or even an idea. He may have a hard time taking &#8220;no&#8221; for an answer and seem immune to typical disciplining techniques. A less persistent child may have a hard time completing tasks and will give up on things that are uninteresting or too complicated. A child with low persistence may develop strong social skills because he realizes other people can help.</li>
<li><strong>Usual Mood</strong> &#8211; Is your child a glass half-full or half-empty kind of kid? Mood combines a lot of different elements, but in general, some kids are more upbeat and others are less bubbly. The child who is usually happy makes friends very easily. In fact, they might even act happy when they are sad. Some kids do very well in group situations (school, play, structured activities) but are much less enthusiastic at home. These kids are moody and may have a harder time having fun. It may seem there is a big problem even when there isn&#8217;t. A child who is usually less positive may become sad or angry about things more quickly. Serious children tend to be analytical and evaluate situations carefully.</li>
</ol>
<p>If you are interested in taking a temperaments traits quiz for your child, you can find one here at: http://www.readyforlife.org/temperament/quiz/start</p>
</div>
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		<title>Who hijacked your parenting mojo?</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/mindful-parenting/who-hijacked-your-parenting-mojo/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/mindful-parenting/who-hijacked-your-parenting-mojo/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Oct 2010 10:34:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[mindful parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting style]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Child Perspective went on an unexpected hiatus last month. I was swallowed by the thick of summer vacation and each kid starting a new school this year. Lots of good stuff that needed more of my attention. I&#8217;ve missed you all and am happy to be back. Take a minute to reply or shoot me [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>Child Perspective went on an unexpected hiatus last month. I was swallowed by the thick of summer vacation and each kid starting a new school this year. Lots of good stuff that needed more of my attention. I&#8217;ve missed you all and am happy to be back. Take a minute to reply or shoot me an email: &#8220;How are your kids ruffling your feathers these days?&#8221;</em></p>
<h3><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/super-power.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2572" title="super power" src="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/super-power-300x277.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="277" /></a></h3>
<h3>Parenting experts are ruining our kids.</h3>
<p>But before I nose dive into that swamp, let me tell you a story. It&#8217;s a story that was told on an episode of NBC&#8217;s West Wing. It&#8217;s about NASA&#8217;s Zero Gravity Pen.</p>
<p>When NASA first started sending astronauts into space in the 1960&#8242;s, they quickly realized that regular pens did not work in zero gravity. The ink wouldn&#8217;t flow through the pen. So they spent the next decade (and nearly $1.5 million dollars) developing a pen that would work in space.</p>
<p>The Russians had the same problem. So they used a pencil.</p>
<p>I tell this story (it&#8217;s an urban legend, actually) to highlight an important point: we often spend large amounts of time and effort creating elaborate solutions to problems when simple answers are right under our noses.</p>
<p>Parenting experts are no different. Experts create a bewildering array of elaborate and contradictory solutions to parenting conundrums. Parents grasp for one solution and then another hoping to solve the current problem.</p>
<h3>What Happens When You Don&#8217;t Trust Your Gut</h3>
<p>How many times have you cracked open a new parenting book searching for answers? You hope to resolve your child&#8217;s behavior, which is sabotaging your family&#8217;s happiness. Yet when you actually try to apply this sage advice, it falls flat with a THUD! No drastic changes. Certainly nothing close to what the authors described.</p>
<p>This is simply because every child is different. Just like every adult is unique in her personality make-up, life experiences, temperament, and preferences, every child is unique too. It makes the experts&#8217; cookie cutter solutions shaky, at best.</p>
<p>But here&#8217;s the thing, parents, our solution is right in front of us. It&#8217;s our own children.</p>
<p>Getting to know your child is the very best way to begin solving most problems. In fact, you&#8217;ll find the solution to many problems just through the act of really coming to understand your child&#8217;s perspective. Yup, that&#8217;s what I&#8217;m here to help you with.</p>
<p>See, every kid is unique. And while this sounds cliche&#8217;, it&#8217;s significance is also completely underestimated.</p>
<h3><strong>5 Ways to Get Your Parenting Mojo Back</strong></h3>
<ol>
<li><strong>Observe your child. </strong>Take time to unobtrusively observe behavior, mood, preferences.</li>
<li><strong><span id="_mce_tmp"> </span>Look for patterns</strong>. Realize that there is a reason behind everything your child does. Discovering the reason will help you significantly.</li>
<li><strong>See beyond the momentary crises</strong>. Parent the whole child by regularly reflecting on your child&#8217;s behavior and disposition.</li>
<li><strong>Accept your child&#8217;s temperament</strong>. Understand the individual characteristics that make up your child&#8217;s personality. They&#8217;re called temperament traits and aren&#8217;t likely to change, so you might as well learn to support them. (I&#8217;ll post more on temperaments soon).</li>
<li><strong>Love the child you have</strong>. Put aside your assumptions or expectations and accept your child in all of her glory.</li>
</ol>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p>Taking time to really understand your child and your child&#8217;s perspective is one of the most influential parenting choices you can make, studies show. Understanding your child will help you determine the reason behind a particular behavior or concern. It will help your reaction to be more aligned with your child&#8217;s needs, thereby nurturing his growth and development.</p>
<p><strong>By understanding your own child, you become the parenting expert</strong>. It is still important to refer to others for help at times, but you will be more targeted and successful in your approach by following your child&#8217;s lead. Learn from NASA and don&#8217;t try to reinvent the pencil. The solution is right there in front of you.</p>
<p><em>Child Perspective aims to help you better understand your own child. Subscribe by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=ChildPerspective&amp;loc=en_US" target="_blank">email</a> to receive regular tips and guidance. Oh, and don&#8217;t be greedy <img src='http://www.childperspective.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' />  Press that SHARE button and help other parents too.</em></p>
<p><strong>Related article:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/child-perspective/1-parenting-secret/" target="_blank">#1 Parenting Secret</a></li>
</ul>
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		<title>Your Kid Eats WHAT?</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/nutrition/healthy-eating/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/nutrition/healthy-eating/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Aug 2010 10:49:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[nutrition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[eating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fruit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[picky eater]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vegetables]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.childperspective.com/?p=1299</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In my parent coaching practice, I&#8217;m often asked, &#8220;How can I cope with &#8211; or turn around &#8211; my picky eater?&#8221; The answer varies depending on the child and family, of course, but a few general principles apply to all kids and families. It&#8217;s important to understand that  kids are picky eaters for a variety of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1358" title="IMG_3032" src="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/IMG_3032-300x225.jpg" alt="IMG_3032" width="300" height="225" /></p>
<p>In my parent coaching practice, I&#8217;m often asked, <em>&#8220;How can I cope with &#8211; or turn around &#8211; my picky eater?&#8221;</em></p>
<p>The answer varies depending on the child and family, of course, but a few general principles apply to all kids and families. It&#8217;s important to understand that  kids are picky eaters for a variety of reasons, least of which is just to be difficult.</p>
<h3>Why Kids Don&#8217;t Beg for Brussel Sprouts:</h3>
<ol>
<li>they are <a href="http://www.parentingscience.com/picky-eaters.html" target="_blank">biologically wired</a> to resist bitter flavors and seek out sweet flavors</li>
<li>they may have limited exposure to a variety of tastes, textures, colors</li>
<li>they may not have healthy eating models</li>
<li>they may have <a href="http://www.childperspective.com/sensory-disorders/sand-it-does-a-body-good/" target="_blank">sensory problems</a> such as hypersensitivity to smells and tastes or &#8220;oral defensiveness&#8221; (Sometimes the child might require professional intervention with an occupational therapist for support.)</li>
</ol>
<p>Usually these issues can be addressed simply by broadening the child&#8217;s food experiences. As trying and demoralizing as it can be, continue to offer multiple healthful choices, so that your child can pick and choose. Even if it&#8217;s been refused before, continue to offer it with confidence.</p>
<h3>Tips to Encourage Healthy Eating:</h3>
<ul>
<li><strong>Expose</strong> your child to previously rejected food over and over again. It takes 15 exposures before children acquire specific tastes.</li>
<li><strong>Model</strong> a healthy relationship with food. Oooh and ahhh over vegetables the same way you might a slice of cake or scoop of ice cream.</li>
<li><strong>Talk about eating all of the colors of the rainbow. </strong>Encourage adventurous eating. Have your child choose a new fruit or vegetable at the store or farmer&#8217;s market to try.</li>
<li><strong>Prepare healthful snacks</strong> (fresh fruit and veggies) so they are easily accessible. Make these available when kids are their hungriest (just before a meal).</li>
<li><strong>Encourage and give positive reinforcement</strong> for adventurous, healthy eating.</li>
<li><strong>Teach</strong> about the importance of good nutrition (Think about reasons that matter to kids &#8211; grow tall, have strong bones and muscles, run fast)</li>
<li><strong>Give your child some control</strong>. Let him help with shopping or cooking or planning a meal and allow him to choose 1 of 2 new foods to try at a meal.</li>
<li><strong>Growing Food</strong>. Call healthy food, &#8220;growing food&#8221;. Kids value growing much more than being healthy.</li>
</ul>
<p>Some kids will always eat anything. Some kids will become more adventurous with more exposure. Some kids will ebb and flow with their preferences. Like so many things parenting, it&#8217;s all in the presentation. If there is a negative charge in the food dynamic, take a step back and stop pushing. And by all means, DO NOT label your child as a picky eater. Once you do, you will have a picky eater. And a power struggle.</p>
<p><strong>Easy tip</strong>: While I cook dinner, my kids each chomp on a whole, peeled carrot. They love these and I can feel good about it too. It eliminates (or minimizes) that end of the day grouchiness. Hunger and exhaustion are often the culprits, and a healthy snacks tends to eliminate as much of that grouchiness as possible.</p>
<h3>Healthy Family Cookbooks:</h3>
<p><a href="http://www.deceptivelydelicious.com/site/" target="_blank"><strong>Deceptively Delicious</strong></a>, by Jessica Seinfeld (Jerry&#8217;s wife). This is a great cookbook for those wanting to conceal the vegetables. I find it particularly useful for getting veggies into baked goods.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Organic-Baby-Toddler-Cookbook-Lizzie/dp/0789471906" target="_blank">Organic Baby &amp; Toddler Cookbook</a><span style="font-weight: normal;">, by Lizzie Vann. This book is full of easy, tasty everyday recipes.</span></strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Whole-Family-Cooking-Foods/dp/157061525X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1280769729&amp;sr=1-1" target="_blank">Feeding the Whole Family</a><span style="font-weight: normal;">, by Cynthia Lair. A book filled with flavor-FULL meal ideas using only whole foods. It&#8217;s a great start for introducing lots of different flavors to your wee ones that you&#8217;ll enjoy too. </span></strong></p>
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		<title>The Thank You Card: a lost art</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/thank-card-lost-art/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/thank-card-lost-art/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Jul 2010 10:41:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[character development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child's perspective]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gratitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manners]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mindful parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[polite]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thank you]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Birthday season is wrapping up in our house. It spans from mid-May to mid-July. The last one is today! It&#8217;s a particularly sentimental one for me too, marking my foray into motherhood six years ago. We&#8217;ve had two months filled with balloons and pools and camping and cupcakes and chocolate tarts and good beer, depending [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Girl-at-mailbox.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2523" title="Girl at mailbox" src="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Girl-at-mailbox-234x300.jpg" alt="" width="234" height="300" /></a></p>
<p>Birthday season is wrapping up in our house. It spans from mid-May to mid-July. The last one is today! It&#8217;s a particularly sentimental one for me too, marking my foray into motherhood six years ago.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve had two months filled with balloons and pools and camping and cupcakes and chocolate tarts and good beer, depending on the celebrant. Or not. We&#8217;ve also made and written many, many thank you cards to our generous friends and family. Each one presents an opportunity to create art, choose someone to share it with, and reflect on their kindness and generosity. It&#8217;s a regular practice around here to feel grateful.</p>
<p>With each passing year, though, The Thank You Card seems to be falling more and more out of favor. It&#8217;s become about as quaint as a telephone cord.</p>
<h3><strong>The Demise of the Thank You Card</strong></h3>
<p>If adults choose not to show basic grace and courtesy, that&#8217;s one thing. They can easily chalk it up to being too busy. But to not teach a child that value?! To not even introduce it as an important exchange with another person is unfathomable to me. Maybe I&#8217;m old fashioned, but this is one tradition I highly value.</p>
<h3>Why a Thank You <em>Card</em> is Important</h3>
<p>Whenever someone does or says something kind to your child, I imagine you respond, &#8220;What do you saaaay?&#8221; &#8230;wondering when your child will learn to spit this out on her own. We want to hear the appropriate response, even if it lacks genuine feeling.</p>
<p>Yet it seems so many parents miss the opportunity for the child to <em>initiate</em> the gratitude. Thank you cards offer the perfect opportunity for the child to give back (with art and/or kind words) on her own terms.</p>
<h3>Consider the Child&#8217;s Perspective</h3>
<p>Remember, young kids are self-focused. They are wired that way. Because of that, they are better able to express genuine gratitude on their own terms. In their own time.</p>
<p>Now, that&#8217;s not saying that you shouldn&#8217;t prompt your child to say &#8220;thank you&#8221; when appropriate. This is still important. But after the party has ended or the grandparents have left, it is equally important to help your child reflect on the generosity of friends and family and follow this through a demonstration of their appreciation.</p>
<h3>Involve the Child, for Pete&#8217;s Sake!</h3>
<p>Once a child can hold a crayon, he can help with the card. He can decorate it. He can &#8220;sign&#8221; it. He can put a stamp on the envelope. He can put it in the mailbox. As children master new skills, they can participate much more. My six-year-old will make the cards, write the cards, seal the envelopes, put the stamps on and get them to the mailbox. It may seem like a lot of work, but just a few minutes every day knocks them out in no time.</p>
<p>And, if you can, encourage others to write thank you notes to your kids, modeling this lost art. Kids LOVE receiving thanks too!</p>
<p><strong>Slightly related posts</strong>:</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/have-a-thankful-kid-by-thursday/" target="_blank">Have a Thankful Kid by Thursday</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/my-daughter-refused-her-gifts/" target="_blank">My Daughter Refused Her Gifts</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/bringing-meaning-back-to-manners/" target="_blank">Bringing Meaning Back to Manners</a></li>
</ul>
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		<title>2 Tips for Positive Parenting</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/discipline/keeping-positive/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/discipline/keeping-positive/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 13 Jul 2010 12:06:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[discipline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[praise and affirmation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[praise]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.childperspective.com/?p=2495</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What does positive parenting mean to you? Do you see it as your own enjoyment of parenting or more about nurturing the positive traits in your children? Often the two go hand in hand. When we feel good about our moment-to-moment parenting choices, our kids are likely to feel good too. But when our kids [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/happy.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2503" title="happy" src="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/happy.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a></p>
<p>What does positive parenting mean to you? Do you see it as your own enjoyment of parenting or more about nurturing the positive traits in your children?</p>
<p>Often the two go hand in hand. When we feel good about our moment-to-moment parenting choices, our kids are likely to feel good too. But when our kids are running on empty (lacking physical or emotional fuel), then parenting gets more difficult. It&#8217;s in these difficult parenting moments that our responses are the most tenuous.</p>
<p>Being able to anticipate and recognize these moments is what mindful parenting is all about. <a href="http://www.childperspective.com/crash-course-in-mindful-parenting/" target="_blank">Mindful parenting</a> makes parenting more fun and fulfilling and less of a burden or mystery. <strong>Mindful parenting includes positive parenting</strong>.</p>
<p>Mindful, positive parenting allows you to be able to say YES to your child more often without giving in, while also bringing out the behavior you want. (You can find specific tips for becoming a more mindful parent <a href="http://www.childperspective.com/crash-course-in-mindful-parenting/" target="_blank">here</a>.)</p>
<h2>2 Tips to Keep it Positive</h2>
<h3>#1: <strong>Saying <em>Yes</em> instead of <em>No</em></strong></h3>
<p>Consider this scenario: You are tucking your toddler into bed for the night. Like most toddlers, she would rather stay awake with you than end the day and face the discomfort of separation. She hugs you and pleads, &#8220;I want to be with you.&#8221;</p>
<p><strong>You could respond</strong>:</p>
<p>&#8220;No honey, it is time for bed.&#8221;</p>
<p>or simply <em>try</em> to find a way to say yes</p>
<p>&#8220;Okay, when you wake up we&#8217;ll snuggle and read a book together.&#8221; (*positive parenting response)</p>
<p>If you are parenting mindfully, it&#8217;s easier to keep your bearings. You know that your toddler just wants to be with you. You can acknowledge her so that she feels heard and understood, but not &#8220;give in&#8221; to an extended bedtime.</p>
<h3>#2 Positive Reinforcement</h3>
<p>You are preparing dinner and your children are <em>finally</em> playing quietly in the next room for the first time in ages.</p>
<p><strong>You could</strong>:</p>
<p>1. Continue cooking without interruption and enjoy the quiet. Maybe you&#8217;ll even have an extra moment to brag about it on Facebook.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>2. You could step away from the kitchen for a moment to acknowledge and reinforce this desirable behavior, &#8220;You guys are doing a nice job playing together.&#8221;</p>
<p>It&#8217;s a well known fact that angry people make noise and happy people remain silent. We see it in parenting. We see it in politics.</p>
<p>When our kids are behaving well (playing nicely with siblings or friends, willingly completing homework, getting ready for school on time) it&#8217;s easy to remain quiet. To say nothing. Yet the moment there is a problem, we are quick to speak up.</p>
<p>But that means that kids predictably get our attention when they do something negative. So what do you think they&#8217;ll choose next time they really want some connection/attention from you? They&#8217;ll choose the surest form &#8211; negative attention.</p>
<p>We know that it doesn&#8217;t matter whether it&#8217;s negative or positive attention, if kids want it they will take it in whatever form you dish it out. So, start dishing out positive attention (especially if it is unexpected and/or in front of other people) and see your child&#8217;s behavior shifts. Enjoy the benefits of positive parenting.</p>
<p><strong>Bonus tip</strong>: Praise requires a little mindfulness too or else it can backfire. You can read more to learn <a href="http://www.childperspective.com/praise-and-affirmation/how-to-effectively-praise-your-child/" target="_blank">how to effectively praise your child</a>.</p>
<p>When you are feeling a little worn out this evening, remind yourself of the two tips for keeping it positive. You&#8217;ll enjoy a smoother evening! And feel better about yourself too.</p>
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		<title>The Sex Talk &#8211; Kindergarten Style</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/education/sex-talk-kindergarten-style/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/education/sex-talk-kindergarten-style/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jun 2010 10:43:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[birds and bees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[developmental stages]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parenting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.childperspective.com/?p=2483</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was certain the kids were well on their way to dreamland when BG called me into the bedroom. I replied like I always do when there are bedtime theatrical performances, &#8220;Oh no, is there blood? Are you okay?&#8221; [A fairly recent bedtime rule is that after we say goodnight, they need to help themselves [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/birds-and-bees.gif"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2489" title="birds and bees" src="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/birds-and-bees-300x262.gif" alt="" width="300" height="262" /></a></p>
<p>I was certain the kids were well on their way to dreamland when BG called me into the bedroom.</p>
<p>I replied like I always do when there are bedtime theatrical performances, &#8220;Oh no, is there blood? Are you okay?&#8221; [A fairly recent bedtime rule is that after we say goodnight, they need to help themselves to the bathroom or to <em>another</em> drink of water. They can call for us if there is blood, or some other emergency.]</p>
<p>BG says, &#8220;Mom, how do you know how old a baby is when it is born?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;That&#8217;s a good question. Let&#8217;s talk about it in the morning.&#8221;</p>
<p>BG: &#8220;Please, please tell me. I really want to know.&#8221;</p>
<p>Okay, I&#8217;ll answer this seemingly simple and thoughtful question.</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Even though the baby grows for awhile inside the mom&#8217;s belly, it is considered 0 when it is born. Then it becomes a few minutes old, a few hours old, eventually days and weeks and years.&#8221;</p>
<p>BG: &#8220;But, I mean, how do they know when it is ready to come out?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Oh, it all has to do with the last time the mom had her period. Then it is about 40 weeks after that until the baby comes out.&#8221;</p>
<p>BG: &#8220;But can the mom decide <em>when</em> to have a baby?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Sure.&#8221;</p>
<p>BG: &#8220;How?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Well, once she decides then she can snuggle with daddy in a special way.&#8221;</p>
<p>BG: &#8220;What&#8217;s the special way?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;BG, I would really love to talk with you about this more, but this isn&#8217;t the time. Let&#8217;s talk in the morning.&#8221;</p>
<p>BG: &#8220;Please, just tell me quickly.&#8221;</p>
<p>I didn&#8217;t need much convincing. I knew this was important and not sure why it had to happen at <em>that</em> moment, but I also knew such a perfectly natural opportunity might not come around for awhile. I want to maintain the open environment that we have already established, where my kids know their questions are always welcomed and valued. I jumped on it!</p>
<h3>Sex or Snuggle</h3>
<p>Me: &#8220;Well, this special snuggle is called sex. It&#8217;s when the dad puts his penis into the mom&#8217;s vagina.&#8221;</p>
<p>BG: &#8220;To make it big enough for the baby to come out?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;No. To squirt something called sperm. If the sperm touches the egg that is inside of the mom, then it can grow into a baby, instead of just being an egg.&#8221;</p>
<p>BG: &#8220;Whoa!! Does it hurt?&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;No. It&#8217;s nice.&#8221;</p>
<p>BG: &#8220;&#8230; &#8216;night Mommy.&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: &#8220;Goodnight love.&#8221;</p>
<h3>5 Tips for Talking about Sex with Young Kids:</h3>
<ol>
<li>Start early.</li>
<li>Answer the question being asked. No more. No less.</li>
<li>Welcome comments and questions with patience.</li>
<li>Keep it simple and honest.</li>
<li>Create an open environment in your family and home.</li>
</ol>
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		<title>Why Boredom is Good for Kids</title>
		<link>http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/why-boredom-is-good-for-kids/</link>
		<comments>http://www.childperspective.com/character-development/why-boredom-is-good-for-kids/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 23 Jun 2010 11:35:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Emily</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[character development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boredom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[child development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[independence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[micromanaging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive parenting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.childperspective.com/?p=2461</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you enjoy what you read here at Child Perspective, please take a moment to share it with a friend. It&#8217;s summer break here in the northern hemisphere and there is a barrage of articles on how to keep your kids entertained throughout the summer. Instead I suggest you do your kids a favor and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>If you enjoy what you read here at </em><a href="http://www.childperspective.com" target="_blank"><em>Child Perspective</em></a><em>, please take a moment to share it with a friend.</em></p>
<p><em><a href="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/DSCF2997_2.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2462" title="hands in sand" src="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/DSCF2997_2-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a><br />
</em></p>
<p>It&#8217;s summer break here in the northern hemisphere and there is a barrage of articles on how to keep your kids entertained throughout the summer. Instead I suggest you do your kids a favor and let them get bored. Painfully bored.</p>
<h3>The Effect of Boredom on Kids</h3>
<div>
<p>Boredom is good for kids. It forces them to entertain themselves, which ignites their creative intelligence.  From this, they learn that they can solve their own problems. This is HUGE!</p>
<p>Some will protest this idea, suggesting either 1) boredom leads to trouble, or 2) we should want to play with our kids. True on both accounts.</p>
<p>But, since most kids are good kids (and hopefully yours is!), boredom usually leads to ingenuity rather than trouble. Bored kids recover by turning to books or art. Their initial frustration, if left unfettered, forces them to turn inward to solve their own problems.</p>
<p>While parents do need to connect with their kids, connection is different than entertaining or micromanaging. <a href="http://www.childperspective.com/child-perspective/the-secret-to-connecting-with-your-kids/" target="_blank">Connection occurs most naturally through child-led play</a>. Play is your child&#8217;s natural form of communication.</p>
<p>If you are a chronic child entertainer, then it&#8217;s time to change your game. This doesn&#8217;t mean cutting all ties with your kid. Do take time to meaningfully engage with your child everyday. But not all day. Set him free to discover his own ideas and interests. To do this, he&#8217;ll need to get bored. Constructively bored.</p>
<h3>How to nurture constructive boredom:</h3>
<ul>
<li><strong>Brainstorm ideas with your kids</strong>. Help them come up with ideas and activities that they can do. Keep &#8220;doing nothing&#8221; or &#8220;relaxing&#8221; as viable options.</li>
<li><strong>Take time to transition away from entertainer</strong>. Your child may protest this initially. Continue to encourage him, but do not get swept up into a debate or battle. <a href="http://www.childperspective.com/discipline/easy-and-effective-discipline/" target="_blank">Remember <strong><em>1-2-3 Magic</em></strong></a>.</li>
<li><strong>Turn off the TV</strong>. Limit all screen time significantly. TV isn&#8217;t likely to bring out your kid&#8217;s ingenuity.</li>
<li><strong>Go outside</strong>. If you wish your kids would go outside and play, you might just need to model this for them. Explore outside, in all kinds of weather.</li>
<li><strong>Read a book</strong>. When your child is looking for something to do, sit down and get out a book. You can invite your child to sit with you and look at or read his own book.</li>
</ul>
<p>None of us intend to raise kids who can&#8217;t figure out how to entertain themselves. Yet, a highly-sheltered, over-structured childhood is a by-product of the society in which we live. This results in kids who are dependent on constant direction. In other words, they have not learned to play by themselves or entertain themselves. They are always seeking entertainment. Our kids have become entertainment junkies.</p>
<p>Furthermore, we live in a world that values convenience and fun. We&#8217;ve internalized a message that if our kids are bored we need to fix it. When your child complains of being bored, remind him that bored people are people who can&#8217;t figure out what to do. With all the confidence in the world reply, &#8220;I&#8217;m sure that you can find something interesting to do or simply relax&#8221;.</p>
</div>
<p><img class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-2463" title="shaving cream" src="http://www.childperspective.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/IMG_3126-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></p>
<p><strong>Easy anytime activity</strong>:</p>
<p>Put a small pile of shaving cream on a table or countertop and allow your child to explore. It can be very soothing to those seeking sensory input, inspires creativity, and is easy to clean-up.</p>
<p><em><br />
</em></p>
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