An important part of money management is giving. As you might remember from posts past, giving is the key to a happy and healthy life.
In order for giving to produce greater happiness and health, the act of giving needs to be meaningful and palpable. Consider these tips to make it meaningful for your child:
- select an age appropriate method of giving
- encourage your child’s participation in all parts of the process
- discuss the “sacrifice” (time, money, mental energy)
- focus on the recipient
- consider the circle for giving (family is innermost, neighbors and friends maybe next outer ring, wider community next ring, etc). Each time you move to an outer ring, the act of giving feels less and less tangible.
Toddlers Guide to Giving
Toddlers are just beginning to look outside of themselves and widen their awareness.
My own toddler joyfully scribbles on a piece of paper and hands it to me. This is her first encounter with giving. My response to this gift has the potential to set the tone for an enduring love of giving.
I can optimize this experience by introducing the perspective of the recipient (she isn’t aware of this perspective yet) – “Oh, you made this for me! Were you thinking of me and how much I love colors? Thank you. That makes me feel so happy.”
Because toddlers are just widening their awareness, giving something handmade to someone who is part of the family or immediate community (the innermost circle) is most meaningful.
Preschoolers Guide to Giving
Preschoolers enjoy helping others, especially animals, friends, and family. Making a homemade bird feeder (pinecone, peanut butter, birdseed) is a fun way to help your child to think outside of himself. Similarly, our daughter loves to see how happy she makes our dog by brushing him.
It can be an exciting outing to take your preschooler to a store to choose a gift for a friend or loved one. Another approach is to choose some books or toys from the family collection to give away.
Elementary Child’s Guide to Giving
The elementary child is cognizant of people farther out in the circle.
The elementary aged child can benefit from helping another child in need, even if he is a stranger. It feels particularly significant if he uses a portion of his own money to put toward the gift or donation.
The elementary aged child is able to prioritize how he wants to give. Allow him to choose whether he wants to give to other children in need in this country, help a war refugee in another country, tithe to his religious organization, give money toward the welfare of animals or the health of our planet. The options are endless. Your child can start voicing and building his own values through this process.
Through the act of giving, children will learn more about the art of receiving. The ability to give and to receive gracefully rebound off of one another.
The Art of Receiving
To all of the parents who talk at length about wanting their children to value giving over receiving, I know. I get it. But, your child does need to learn how to receive. Teach your child how to be a grateful recipient of gifts.
Talk to him about how good it feels when someone else thinks of him and wants to make him happy. Shed light on the giver’s perspective – “Isn’t this so thoughtful. Sue thought about you and went to the store to pick this out just for you.”
This is how the ability to give and to receive gracefully rebound off of one another.
And please, please teach the importance of a thank you note!!
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