At your request, dear readers, I am writing to let you know that I am not a perfect parent. Gasp.
You ask repeatedly if I ever make mistakes, or raise my voice, or am at a loss for an appropriate response. Yes. All of the above. Daily.
This is not my version of the bad mommy diaries. I do not believe that I am a bad mom. But I do make bad parenting choices. In fact, my best parenting moments are when I am writing articles for this blog, and in the evening when I review the trials and tribulations of the day and vow to have a better day tomorrow.
So, how does a fallible parent like me feel inclined to write a parent education blog?
A lot of encouragement, tons of experience with kids, parents, and family dynamics, and an entrepreneurial spirit. I was a Montessori preschool teacher for nearly 10 years before choosing to stay at home with my two young daughters. Those years teaching gave me a rare window into parenting that illuminated many frequently encountered parenting struggles. I have my own share of these and recognize this as an inevitability for all parents.
So, let’s talk, brainstorm, and support one another through these parenting moments. No parent is alone in his or her struggle, so let’s voice the problems and help rebuild the village.
And when in doubt or beating yourself up for being such a bad parent, remember, even the most thoughtful parents have bad parenting moments. Relieved?
Very relieved. Thank you for this entry, Emily. Good timing:). We DO need a village and I think that some of us, myself included, think that we should be able to do it all, teach it all, handle it all on our own. Even if your job is to be at home with your kids it doesn’t mean that you will be great at it 100% of the time. Why is this so hard to remember? Why can’t I cut myself some slack here and there and remember that I am learning how to parent as I go. Bad days and hiccups are normal.
So here is my question, Village. I find myself falling into a trap with my three year old. She misbehaves, I correct the behavior, it stirs her to do more misbehaving, I get frustrated and we start this “dance” that takes us spiraling out of control. Anyone familiar with this? How do you handle these moments? Thanks.
thank you for this post.
i think when a first child is born so is a mom. and just like a child learns how to nurse, the mom learns how to feed. just like a child is constantly checking his boundries we need to learn to set those boundaries to become guidelines to help them become independent. because ,unfortunately, at one point they will take off (i must say i am dreading that day)
the process of learning is paved with small triumph moments and sense of despair. there is not one day that goes without a struggle and a huge smile and a big laughter.
i love your blog Emily, because it is a constant reminder of the things we are all as mothers dealing with. it reminds me i need to be patient and understand my child’s perspective.
thanks
tali