I am curious how other people feel about rewards for . I steer away from rewards in most cases of child development. It is my training and experience that children develop their own internal drive best when parents don’t create an exterior motivation. This takes the delight and joy away from the child’s personal process.
I was happy to read this recent comment posted on another site:
“I also, personally, wouldn’t resort to stickers from the start… the reward of wearing cool undies and being dry and not wearing diapers should be incentive enough! Save the stickers as a fall-back in case things really are still not going well after a couple weeks or so and she needs ‘extra’ motivation.”
What are your thoughts?
To read more on this subject, check out:
I have a three year old that is still so not potty trained and i dont know what to do. I am a first time mother to a premature baby (born at 28 weeks) and i just dont know if she is just being stubborn or if has any thing to do whit her prematurity. Im so very stumped…….
I have potty trained my share of toddlers and I can honestly say that I do not agree with the reward concept for such task. Now I do sometimes it’s whatever works but I am afraid that this upcoming generation will not know how to do anything for personal satisfaction or even for the benefit of others. Parents revolve everything around the child to the point that nothing else matters. Are we raising a generation of selfish individuals with a ongoing sense of entitlement?
I do not want to over generalize this. If the rewards stop after potty training then Okay, but I see this as a pattern. I never once pulled out an M&M and all mine managed.
I can’t agree with MomOf5. To go from whether to use rewards for potty training to WAY over-generalizing an entire generation’s alleged sense of entitlement…really?!
You have potty trained 5 toddlers. That’s not a significant statistical sample. It just isn’t.
We have twins. They know everything about the potty except they mostly do not go to the potty on their own. We are now at the point of considering rewards to give them motivation to go. Oh, and we do observe and care a LOT about our children…and they are not at all selfish. In fact, they are the toddlers that give toys to other toddlers and never hit them. I’m sure if we give them a reward for potty training, they will not suddenly become entitled brats as adults. There are plenty of opportunities to teach doing something for their own personal satisfaction. I think some kids just need help getting started but you know what? Many or most don’t need this once they’ve got the training down. They aren’t still asking for that reward when they are in their teens or 20s or 30s so somewhere along the way, they do it for themselves.
I do agree that rewards should be used very, very carefully. I do not plan to do rewards other than for potty training.