Comments on: Toilet training the older child

By: Pamela

Pamela — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:51:38 +0000

My dd is 4 yrs and 4 months. She has speech dyspraxia and some other slight motor skill delays but understands just fine. I’ve been trying so hard to get her to potty train. We have 6 children..she’s the 5th, so I’m no stranger to pt. She’ll wear undies and asks for the potty, but as soon as she feels the need to go, she freaks out like she’s scared or it hurts. I’ve tried your suggestion of ditching the diapers and it doesn’t work with her. She literally has a melt down because she just can’t/won’t use the potty. I’m not sure at this point if it’s a power play or if she truly just doesn’t get it. I’m brought to tears with her on a constant basis not just from potty training but how difficult she is in general. If not kept busy ALL the time, she gets into major trouble. She’s exhausting and I’m ready to give up pt her. I’m beyond frustrated.

By: Margaret

Margaret — Sat, 08 May 2010 13:28:44 +0000

Hello Anne.. I think there are far more 6 year olds wearing nappies at night than most people would imagine. It’s a personal private subject which we don’t usually discuss with family and friends, so we can easily be misled into thinking anxiously “My kid must be the only one.” I sometimes wonder whether my son is having accidents in his sleep, or if his soiling is to some extent deliberate (?) What about your boy ? But then again, I ask myself, Does it matter ? His need, whether physical or emotional, is harmless enough, and it’s contained confidentially within the home, and it has no adverse effect on his schooling and his friendships. I don’t want confrontation with my son; dirty nappies are much easier to deal with than a damaged relationship.
Margaret.

By: Potty Training : A Success Story

Potty Training : A Success Story — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 23:57:16 +0000

[...] Toilet training the older child [...]

By: AnnMarie Johnson

AnnMarie Johnson — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:09:49 +0000

While I agreed with this before I had a child, I no longer do. For instance, we tried the “get up in the middle of the night” thing….except it ended up a nightmare because my DD sleeps deeply, detests being woken up at night, and screamed and fought the few times we tried it.

She’s 5, and whenever she stops wetting her training pants and lets us know she’s ready for panties overnight, it’ll happen. But I’ve spent 4 years struggling with her on training (she didn’t day train until she was nearly 3.5) and I’m quitting.

PS, another new reader, sent from Free Range Parenting!

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 14:47:19 +0000

Yes, I just emailed you some tips. First tip – Get rid of the nappies!! But, 10 more tips are in the email.

By: Anne

Anne — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 05:12:40 +0000

Anyone have any tips? I have a son just about 6 years old who still wears a nappy at night. Nappies are still very wet in the morning and he still poos often too. He has been dry and clean during the day for 2 or 3 years, but has never been dry over night. He was clean over night for a while but now doesn’t manage to not poo for more than 3 nights in a row. He is not constipated, does go to the toilet before bed and during the day. Nothing wrong with him from his doctor. Any ideas on how to sort this out?

By: End Toilet Training Regression Now | Child Perspective

End Toilet Training Regression Now | Child Perspective — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 18:25:20 +0000

[...] Toilet training the older child [...]

By: Kerry

Kerry — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:17:55 +0000

We feel that we were very successful in toilet training our daughter at a little over 2.5 years of age. I am sure that we could have done it earlier, but I feel that going at her pace was also what made it a success. We let her look at how many diapers were left and do a count down as she used each one. When they were all gone she seemed more excited than nervous (the emotion that I was prepared to see). We have had maybe two accidents since that day, both of which were on the playground at school.

Before embarking on this toilet training journey, the part that I was most perplexed by was the nighttime training. Thank you Emily for giving me the courage to just go for it! We had one sleepless week with at least one bedwetting episode per night. It has now been several nights of sound sleeping and NO bedwetting.

This is just another experience that makes me realize that sometimes MY anxieties hold HER back. She is capable of moving forward – how do I forget this??!! As you said, Emily, the intensity of toilet training is short term compared to the long term growth for the child. Thank you again for your words of encouragement!

By: emilygeizer

emilygeizer — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 00:18:25 +0000

I am so happy to hear that my thoughts are inspiring and motivating you toward potty training your daughter. I understand your concerns around nighttime, but it has to happen sometime, so you might as well make it as painless as possible and ride the potty training wave.
I look forward to hearing your success story!

By: Anna Van Dis

Anna Van Dis — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 17:51:04 +0000

I’m getting many tips and feeling inspired by the approaches you suggest, Emily. I think with Una having her help me maybe give the diapers away to some babies who need them will be helpful…we have figured out some time in March where we’ll both be taking some time off to start! I can’t imagine Una being OK with having a quiet day at home (all day), but we can try to make it fun, or just do close to home outside stuff, backyard, etc.
My concern with her mainly is at night. Sleep is such a struggle as it is, when she wakes up( you addressed this, in having them have a brief wake up to use the potty vs. cleaning up sheets, etc. ) she does NOT easily go back down. So its very tempting of course to remain with diapers at night in this case. My goal is to do it without, but since we’ve been sleep deprived now for over two years (she will now sleep for stretches of five hrs with some waking up and then back down for another few, then up again, etc. its still SOOO much better than it was!) it worries me a bit. Otherwise, I am psyched. Esp. to pick out the new undies!