I have been humbled and kicked in the face and have gawked at this thing called sibling rivalry*.
Sibling rivalry has been a predominant theme in our house for the past two months year. It has been ugly and intense and so perfectly natural (right??).
I’m crossing my toes here as I write this for fear of jinxing it . . .
. . .but, it appears that we are out of the thick of it. For now.
I am going to take a few days to catch my breath and celebrate the new found friendship in our house. But then I’ll be back to write about our experience and offer some insights.
* I take issue with the word, “rivalry”. I do not think it captures the full range of emotions and motives of the dynamic.
Do you have a sibling? What do you remember about your dynamics? Are you raising siblings? What’s it like for you?
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have an older sister (by 2 1/2 yrs.) and honestly we barely fought at all- including both the youngster wanting/sharing dynamic time and the teenage years. Really. This is not just my memory but family and friends input as well. How did we/ my Mom do it? Not sure. Some of it was that we had so few toys to even fuss over, and some of it was that being children of a single mom who needed to move a few times during our school years, made us need each other more. When I was young, my sister was my hero and she in turn treated me, not just with big-sisterly caring, but with respect too. Now my daughter and son are only just entering the stage of both desiring the same spot to sit and the same toy to play with. So I don’t have much input yet, but we do talk a lot about the feelings and needs of all people in our household and as the compassion grows so may the desire to share sound time/ toy time/ together time. we will see.
I think it’s also important not to have anyexpected outcomes, in terms of your childrens’ relationship with one another. It doesn’t help them to have expectations that they will always be BFF’s. It’s better to follow a healthy process in terms of helping them communicate and deal within the family, and let the rest go.
Great series!!!
I agree! The process is the most important part, and the part that will carry through to all parts of their lives now and ongoing. Learning to tolerate and respect others is a very important lesson.