Comments on: Is Separation Anxiety Causing Unrest?

By: anxiety questions

anxiety questions — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 23:23:27 +0000

Anxiety issues in children are so common that monitoring behavior and anxiety levels of children at an early age is crucial for proper development. These are certainly good strategies to relieve separation anxiety. They seem to work on many children but of course children are very different in their psychology so different methods should be tested. Thank you for sharing your ideas.

By: Tasha

Tasha — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 14:03:50 +0000

I am still struggling with this. My daughter is 17 months old, and I’m not actually sure if it’s anxiety that wakes her at night or not. Sometimes it seems she won’t let me out of her sight, and when I do leave, she screams. Bedtime is no different, I have to rock her asleep every night, and if she wakes up, I have to do it all over again. The only difference is that she will fight sleep so hard, literally forcing her eyelids open, or even pulling her own hair.

She’s still in a crib, so I can’t snuggle her to sleep, and bringing her into my bed just doesn’t seem like a good habit to start. Sometimes at night, I just let her cry until she falls back asleep. Now I’m worried that if it is indeed anxiety, am I only making it worse? If anybody has any suggestions, I would greatly appreciate it!

By: MikeC

MikeC — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 07:37:58 +0000

Ahhh, this gives me flashbacks to when I was a kid. Every time my mother would drop me off at the babysitters I would cry and throw a tantrum. And I clearly remember using a child’s play phone to pretend to call my mother at work because I missed her so much. Ironically, my mother and I are not THIS close today, lol.
But I think this feeling of abandonment is common in children and makes me wonder exactly how this affected me later in life. I grew up to have a plethora of anxiety issues, although I did have them as a child as well. I’m wondering if the anxiety caused this separation anxiety or the separation anxiety was the catalyst for later anxiety issues?

By: child anxiety

child anxiety — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 06:05:42 +0000

[...] about delivery (pain, etc) that would be healthy for the baby with my blood pressure and stress. …Is Separation Anxiety Causing Unrest? | Child PerspectiveAnxiety peaks in young children coincide with the child's newfound locomotor independence (crawling [...]

By: emilygeizer

emilygeizer — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 12:48:27 +0000

Dominique,
Every situation is different. Just like every child is different. And, just like every family culture is different. The first place to start is by trying to understand your child’s perspective. Really try hard to understand why he might be waking. Is he scared? Does he miss you? Is he hungry? Is he unsettled in other areas of his life? Is there a change happening for him or in your household? Is he getting enough physical activity?
Without knowing these answers, I can only make educated guesses.
Feel free to contact me by email if you’d like to go into more detail. I’m happy to help.

By: astrodarlings

astrodarlings — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 13:59:31 +0000

I still haven’t solved this problem. I have tried sleeping together and leaving the room after he falls asleep but he still wakes up like 2-4 times a night to look for me. If I leave the room before he falls asleep it is not better. Still can’t get him to sleep through the night.

By: emilygeizer

emilygeizer — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 20:56:12 +0000

Andrea, I'm so glad you mentioned the slow breathing. I also did this with my children. Especially when they were having trouble settling themselves. It seemed to just slow their momentum and lull them into never never land. This practice of slowing down and breathing while snuggling my kids to sleep, was a significant light-bulb for me. It became my favorite stand-by for handling many of our household sleep issues. I quickly realized that when I was anxiously counting down the minutes til they fell asleep, they seemed to stay awake longer. It was the opposite result when I completely relaxed my mind and body. The process of relaxing myself simultaneously soothed whichever child I was snuggling.They would also fall into a deep, relaxed place where they quickly drifted off to sleep. That's another example of how the autonomic nervous system is still developing; and therefore, kids rely on others (especially parents) for cues. This leaves them deeply attuned to our energy and mood.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:34:32 +0000

One thing that helped me when I used to snuggle with Miles to help him to go to sleep was breathing as if I were sleeping, a bit exagerated, slow and deep.

And a big second on the recommendation to use a noise machine. It always made a big difference for us. If you are traveling without one you can set a radio on static and it makes a similar sort of noise.

also, for what it’s worth… i used to feel SO ready for bedtime to just be done with, ready for him to fall asleep as soon as possible so i could get on with my evening. now that he either falls asleep on his own, or sometimes his dad snuggles him (i have a new baby who is usually in a nursing marathon at Miles’ bedtime) i really miss it. Like many other things it was a stage that seemed like it would last forever, but now i feel really sentimental about. I am grateful for the increased independance, but realize now how sweet and lovely that time was for the 2 of us.