A timer is a miracle worker, really. It’s like a “firing agent”, it takes the heat for you.
How does a timer work with kids?
See, when used appropriately, a timer holds kids to a time commitment without you being engaged in the battle. For example, “You can read until the timer goes off.” Or, “I’d like you to go brush your teeth when the timer goes off.”
The timer sets the limits and doesn’t offer much reward for whining and arguing. It is as unaffected by power struggles as parents can only hope to be. And kids obey the timer, if presented and used appropriately.
One trick is to anticipate the timing right in the first place. Keep time limits reasonable to allow your child to finish an activity without getting frustrated or giving up first. As with anything, the goal is to help your child feel successful.
Can a timer help you?
If there is a common struggle happening between you and your kids, imagine how a timer might help. A timer can’t help every battle, but it can help many. So whether it is the morning routine, getting your kids ready for bed, a child’s anger, or potty training, a timer might be an essential tool for you.
This is so successful because the child feels independent and supported.
How do you think you could use a timer to help your stressful moments? Share an example in the comment section. If you are reading this in your RSS or Facebook, click the link to head back to the site.
I love the timer! Great post! My son is 5 and will often choose the timer himself. This usually happens when I have said he has a few more minutes to play and then xyz is happening… I tell him (or we negotiate) how many minutes and then he sets the timer himself. If possible I give him the option of deciding how many more minutes – since the increments he is familiar with are usually within the realm of possibility (5, 10 or 15 minutes) what he wants to do is virtually always workable. When the timer rings he easily transitions to the next thing. Sometimes the timer feels like magic, it really is amazing.
I grew up with my mom using the timer as a tool for herself as well as my brother and me. If there was something she (or we) didn’t want to do (usually cleaning, some longer chore or homework project) we would set the timer for 1 hour, cranking out as much as possible knowing that when it rang we’d be able to take a break, or be done for the day. It is still a great motivator for me as an adult.
That’s a great example of an appropriate way to use a timer, Andrea. Sounds like your son looks to the timer as a sort of authority that he can accept. And you’ve found a way to transition w/o struggles, which can be difficult for so many kids. Thanks for sharing!
Oh my God I need a timer! Stat!
A timer worked great for my youngest and oldest who are very competitive (even with themselves). They also love math. My middle child got stressed with a timer. So I think it also depends upon the personality of the child.
It’s true that kids will react differently, Betsy. Thanks for highlighting that important piece! But, there are usually some tricks for those that seem tentative at first. Depending on the child, a sand timer might work best. For others, simply warning them just before the timer buzzes works best.