With the holiday season approaching, I thought I’d update this popular post. It was initially inspired by a long (and surprisingly successful) road trip that I took alone with my young daughters. Many of these tips will be helpful whether you are traveling by plane, train, or automobile.
I was recounting the first leg of our road trip with my best friend and explained how we stopped about every 2 hours to run around (a quick walk, jumping jacks, game of tag, and the essential bathroom break). She responded, “That’s so good to pre-empt the meltdowns. I’m usually so happy everyone is doing fine that I just keep driving and inevitably they fall apart.”
I can relate to that. It can be so tempting to continue on and push through when all seems to be going well. Yet, it is harder to pick up the pieces after the fact.
What makes a road trip unbearable and what makes one pleasant?
Fortunately, we, the parents, have significant control over the success of anything, including long car trips. It’s all in the preparation and presentation.
In fact, my kids’ roughest car rides happen when we are driving short distances around town. This is when I am so grateful to drive a mama mobile where they each have their own row and cannot touch or grab one another. Regardless, there is something positive to be said for the results of all of the preparation that goes into a long car trip versus the spontaneous jaunts around town.
I have fond memories of road trips as a youngster and hope to recreate similar memories for my kids. I have ignored strong advice to “break down” and get a portable DVD player. With a little effort, thought, and creativity we can have the same fun family time that I remember as a kid!
10 tips for the road-trip weary:
- Tap into your child’s perspective (sound familiar?). Traveling can be anxiety and stress producing for kids and adults. Consider ways to keep your child feeling calm and secure.
- Talk about the drive beforehand in a positive and exciting way. Do not introduce any feelings of drudgery. Attitude is everything!
- Pack some surprises for the road (different markers, books, lollipops).
- Bring good finger food and lots of water. Kids’ moods stay elevated when they have had enough hydration, which is easy to forget or ignore in a car.
- Consider your child’s age, ability, and favorite activities. Anticipate ways to accommodate these on the trip. For instance, a portable table top was perfect for my 5-year-old to use for drawing and writing. This would have been uncomfortable and cumbersome for my 2-year-old who instead preferred playing with small animals in her lap.
- Driving with kids demands interaction. Don’t expect otherwise. Work hard to keep it positive. I find good music very helpful.
- Sing along, play I Spy, listen to audio books, tell stories, encourage games, such as finding all of the letters from your child’s name on road signs or spotting the numbers 1-10.
- Bring a ball or frisbee to toss or kick at rest stops. Chasing bubbles works well for the youngest walkers/runners. Just 5 minutes of movement really helps everything and everyone!
- Stop often and BEFORE the meltdown!
- Help your child feel successful with this big adventure. It not only sets a good precedent for future trips, but also adds to your child’s sense of “I can do it”.
These are just some among many potential strategies for navigating road trips with nary a tantrum or outburst.
If you consider your child’s perspective, the trip is guaranteed to be more successful. It will be more fun. The kids will stay relatively happy and comfortable and arrive to the destination in better shape.
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I thought I was the ONLY PARENT IN THE WORLD who does not use, or want to use, DVD players on road trips.
that makes 3 of us…
i hope you had a great trip Emily. i have to tell you that 2 years ago my husband had a seminar in Scottsdale Arizona. we were in Santa Monica at that time. zoe was 4 and ori was 1. for some odd reason i have decided we should drive and join him (he had a great suit in a nice hotel with a pool etc) i am not sure what i was thinking. it is about 6 hours drive. i think about half way i finally understood what i was doing but than it was too late to turn around, we were already half way. the drive went great. no tantrums what so ever. i remember talking to zoe alot before we left telling her how she needs to be my helper and make sure ori was doing ok. it worked.
we had a great vacation.
btw,
another great game we play in the car or on hikes is: 20 questions (we dont really count the questions) someone needs to think of an animal and the rest need to guess what animal it is with yes and no questions.
tali
Great article. You inspired me to write on this topic as well. I linked to your post at the end of mine.
http://mamabusypants.blogspot.com/2009/07/anderson-family-travel-survival-in-21st.html
Take care,
Jeannie @ The Adventures of Mr. Busypants.
By the way, your header cracks me up every time I visit your site. Great pic!
For a multitude of reasons which I won’t go into here, I am not OK with using the portable DVD’s in the car on trips, I just don’t want to go that route. Thanks for these “tips” Emily, I plan to use them on our upcoming 14 +hour trip to Michigan in two weeks. I think that number 5 (that driving w/ kids demands interaction) is the hardest part personally, and WHY it is so tempting for parents to use the portable DVD’s , game devices, etc. , so I understand why parents DO have them! BUT, I’d rather tune in than tune out, even if it is exhausting by the end! I think attitude is everything, too. Great post.
Hi ladies really i inspired by this article.the tips are very useful to every moms.i plan to use this article to my child at the next summer vacation.
Great post! I love not being the only hold out on the DVD player! We just bought a relatively new mini van and one of our requirements was that it not have a built in DVD
Having recently made the decision to take a (15+ hour) road trip with our almost 5 year old boy and 2 month old baby girl I would also add a couple newly hard earned tidbits – be realistic about your expectations and know each child… We lulled ourselves into thinking that it would work with such a young infant based on our older child at her age – he would get in the car and just sleep. She did not. Quite the opposite. It was a long looooong trip with much newborn crying, many stops and a lot of night time driving! But our challenges on the first half of the trip led us to the creative solution of me and the baby flying home, while my husband and older son drove home. It was a way we could all enjoy a far away from home place, and the relief of knowing we’d all be spared a car ride with a screaming baby on the way home was worth the plane ticket.